Saying nothing on 9/11

I could sit here and write about where I was that day 13 years ago. I could talk about what our country has been like since that fateful day. I could reflect on the lives lost or the wars fought or the question of our safety and security. I could put forward or refute some conspiracy theories regarding the events of September 11th, 2001.

I plan on doing none of those things.

It has been a while since I have written anything. When I last posted something it was about how the modern world kind of sucks, and the way 9/11 is commemorated is most certainly an example of that. There is no denying the magnitude of that day and of the events that followed. It changed our national story and affected people across the globe, so it's understandable that we would all be made very aware of what day it is. However, it seems like there is less effort spent on reflection or commemoration than on making statements that let the world know that we are reflecting and commemorating. Does that make sense?

I suppose what I am trying to say is that we live in a world where reflection is a thing used to take self portraits, as opposed to an active method of listening to ourselves.

To me, reflection means slowing down and really thinking about something. It means considering a subject deeply and personally. It ultimately requires us to come to terms about how something affects us, or how an event has shaped us. I believe reflection is an action, but one that requires focus. To reflect, we need to be still. Unfortunately, that is becoming harder to do.

Every little thing gets shared with the world now. Every moment, no matter how banal, is broadcast to anyone who will listen. Before anyone accuses me of singling out friends on Facebook who wrote something heartfelt about 9/11, I'll remind you that most media outlets report on trends they see on Twitter, which is why today, for some reason, I saw a headline that read "Area sports teams remember 9/11 with #NeverForget". The story details how High School sports teams have used Twitter to mark the occasion. That's not a story. It's nothing. It is a waste of time and bandwidth to even publish something like that. There's nothing there that indicates anyone reflected on anything, only that the teams used a hashtag to remind everyone what day it is. That really isn't anything, is it?The "article" does have a paragraph that made me double to check to see if it was from a parody site. I have added bold print for emphasis, though it isn't really necessary:

Hagerty High Sports called for action saying, “Let’s do more than a moment of silence today, instead talk constantly about 9/11 and how it affected you and others #NeverForget.”

Could there be a better example of what I mean?

The lack of reflection goes beyond social media and smart phones and all the other stuff the kids like and I hate. We live in a society where someone is always trying to sell you something or make you aware of their brand. National tragedies may once have been off limits, but that time seems to be behind us now. Last year, AT&T was forced to offer an apology after they ran an ad that people felt was exploitative. To be honest, I feel like this is probably one of the less horrendous kinds of 9/11 marketing I have seen. But that hasn't stopped a number of companies from doing the same this year. Evidently there few companies as patriotic and reflective as FleshlightFleshlightFleshlight.

This kind of thing seems to be everywhere. Who can forget a local Marriots sincere desire to remember the fallen - "In remembrance of those we lost on 9/11 the hotel will provide complimentary coffee and mini muffins from 8.45 - 9.15am." 

Consider that for a moment. Whoever concocted this tribute could not slow down and reflect long enough about the days importance,  a half hour of muffins and coffee would be seen as some kind of statement. This is Kennedy-getting-shot moment for this period in history, a day where everyone can remember where they where when they learned about the attacks. A day that changed everything for our entire nation - commemorated with miniature pastries and watered down coffee.

A visit to ground zero and the newly opened 9/11 museum offers little by way of reflection. The reflecting pools are beautiful, and the site, now open to the public without a wait is actually a very nice space. I really cannot imagine how else the site could have been used. Yet it is a noisy, crowded place that gave me an unsettling feeling when I visited in June.

Because of the nature of the events that took place there, it draws many tourists, much as Civil Way battlefields do. They come, by the thousands, to look at the footprints of what were, at one time, the tallest buildings in the world. But they are there, with screaming children in tow, smiling for the camera and taking selfies, as if they were in front of Niagara Falls. I wanted to be mad about it, but as nice the memorial is, it is a lot like a park. There are benches, there is grass, large fountains. Set at the foot of the nearly-complete Freedom Tower, the memorial serves as the only large expanse of open space south of Central Park. Aside from a few guards who remind people not to climb on the wall of names that surrounds each fountain, there is nothing to suggest that ground zero is a place of reflection. It's merely an attraction.

To be completely honest, I have no idea if the September 11th museum is much better, as I have not been. But it would not be a truly American place if it did not have a gift shop. No trip to the depths of national anguish would complete without a hoodie, a keyring, or a baseball hat. It was the 9/11 cheese plate, however, that convinced me never to go. Seriously, take a look at that link. There is simply no time to reflect when there are so many opportunities to capitalize on your visitors. So, today, I am saying nothing. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not even here. I would rather sit silently with my own thoughts. Staying present and still are things that I already struggle with as it is, but I would hate for a reflective moment to be completely vanish amid the noise and the sales and tweets.

A new sense of dread

It's hard to put my finger on when I started feeling this way, but I think the modern world kind of sucks.

Now, I am no Luddite, and I certainly enjoy the comforts of contemporary living. Air conditioning is currently my favorite example. I also enjoy modern medicine, modern conveyances (primarily the subway,) and a great number of modern ideas.

But it really seems like there is no mystery anymore. It seems like it's a lot of the same stuff everywhere you go. You see the same stores, see the same cars, eat the same food, hear the same jokes, hear the same music.

This might be all in my head. I tend to have a desire to be in another place or another time fairly often. I would like to not romanticize the past so much, and I certainly don't think everything about society or day to day was superior in another time. I just can't shake the feeling that we are missing something from our lives collectively.

I really worry about people these days. We all seem so unable to look up from our phones. I saw a lady get on an escalator at Grand Central with her phone out. The escalator was not working, but she just stood there, waiting to go down. People were having to move around her, and she did not seem to realize that she was completely in the way. I cannot think of a situation that sums up these vague feelings better than that.

I feel like I am going to start exploring this notion further in the coming weeks. NYC is a great place to think about all this. People howl that "old New York" is disappearing, and while I wouldn't know first hand if that is true or not, I often find myself thinking that maybe it's true. Maybe New York is turning into all the other places I have lived. Sadly, I am not so sure it is happening just here. Those other places, like Austin and the San Francisco Bay Area, are slowly starting to resemble every other place.

Are corporate interests, advertisers, and developers to blame? Probably, but I doubt exclusively. Are individuals, with a love of distraction (Facebook) and convenience to blame? Sure, though there must be other reasons.

I am going to keep thinking about this. I am going to keep thinking about why this bothers me so much, and what I think I can do in the face of a modern world so intent on mediocrity and homogeny.

City Snakes are known to molt throughout the summer. An adult has shed it's skin and continued on it's way.

Long Island City

This younger specimen was spotted near the Court Square subway station.

Adrift

I have been feeling lost lately, like I am drifting in the wind. The dog is getting to go out and play more than usual. I struggle to find purpose, she finds small purebreeds to chase around. I would like to think there is something to learn from the dog, but I watched her try to eat partially chewed food off of the ground.

World Cup Wrap-Up

Before the start of the 2014 World Cup, I was sure I was going to hate it. I wasn't feeling the excitement I normally feel during the days weeks leading up the start of the competition. I should have knows those blues would not last.

On a personal level, I credit this with the sudden freedom to watch as much or as little of the Cup as I wished, due entirely to getting laid off. Suddenly, I didn't have to go back to a toxic work environment, and now I had plenty of time to see all the games.

The truth, however, is that what made this World Cup so great was that is was one of the best competitions I have seen in years. I won't go into too many details, as the punditry an analysis continues this week, following Germany's win over Argentina.

I will say that a few things stood out for me:

1. There were several matches that were complete maulings - most famously, Germany's 7-1 thrashing of Brazil.

2. There were some wonderful underdog teams that proved to be giant-killers, or at the very least, proved to be very tough for bigger nations to beat. Costa Rica is by far the standout among this group of teams, but I think Chile and Colombia deserve a great deal of respect for their performance as well.

3. Spain imploded, which was a shock to all. Italy was worse than I thought they would be, France was much better, and England were dire - all of them were unremarkable and went home fairly early.

4. The Dutch somehow missed the chance to lose in the final, opting to lose in a semi-final instead. Argentina, who were completely underwhelming, played their best game in the final.

And, the best part of the whole competition (for me, anyway)...

5. The USA managed to exceed everyones expectations, including their own. They played some tough games and escaped the group of death. Teams that played the USMNT played them with respect, and the USA can only feel pride at their performance.

Now, we wait for the start of the premier league. Once that begins life again will have meaning.

City Snake Adventure Tours of NYC

It's been an interesting few weeks.               

                                                                                 

It began with a trip to California for a wedding, and to visit my family. To keep it short, it was nice to be there, but as I normally do, I felt an immense sense of excitement to be back in NYC.

The day after we returned, I was laid off.

Now, this should seem like something that would upset me more, but really it has been a tremendous relief. I disliked working there, disliked the increasingly toxic nature of the environment there, and disliked many of the people I came into contact with regularly.

I am now in a position to seek a new career path, as well as to watch the World Cup uninterrupted.

When we first moved here, I found myself becoming a little unhinged. With no job, I sat at home applying for positions for hours, leaving only to take the dog out and to go running. I am not making that mistake again.

I took a trip to the Met, ground zero, Roosevelt Island (via tramway), Tudor City, and Grand Central

 This picture does not do justice to how large and impressive this painting is.

I find these places to be inspirational. Their architecture, their history, their significance - these things gave me a lot to think about. I saw a draft of the declaration of independence, an exhibition on children's books, spoke with protesters angry at the Chinese Communist Party, and discovered parts of the city I had never before been.

A field trip is always a good thing, I cannot recommend it enough.

World Cup Ennui

What I am about to write is more shocking to me than anything else I have ever shared.

The 2014 FIFA World Cup begins on Thursday, and I have never felt less interested. Normally, as the date rapidly approaches, I begin to experience and extreme level of excitement. After all, it determines which national team, and therefore, which nation, is the best. It showcases the greatest talent, the most exciting players, and the global passion for a sport enjoyed (almost) everywhere.

I normally begin to find myself in the throes of "World Cup Fever", a 6 week long malaise characterized by screaming, heavy drinking, getting up at odd hours, a shirking of life's duties, and night terrors. I will go much of the summer with a sore throat, hoarse from games played on the other side of the globe. I compulsively post the TV schedule for upcoming matches, and meticulously fill out my WC chart, and plan my days around games.

I now find myself in a strange place, completely unexcited, disinterested in the one event I am sure to see plenty of coverage about. I cannot seem to figure out why, though a few reasons do come to mind.

I watch a lot of Soccer. All year long, I watch it. I follow the Premier League, I watch all of West Hams matches, I read all the news, I talk to people with the same obsession. Is it possible I have burned myself out? As time has passed, I have only become more interested in the sport, and have found more ways to think about it. Am I possibly in need of a break? I do like having "summers off" from the game. It allows me to watch baseball or rugby, gives me an opportunity to sleep late on weekends (something I normally do not allow myself during the season,) and, perhaps most importantly, gives my fiancee a much needed break from one true vice.

Is it the rather uninteresting nature of the last few World Cups? As excited as I have been every time, the reality is that some people have considered a number of recent competitions to be a little lackluster. Certainly there have been some less than thrilling finals, save for some theatrics. I can't help but wonder if I have just been hyping this competition to myself for as long as I can recall.

Another consideration might be adulthood. During past cups, I have been a student, or have been in the midst of periods of unemployment or underemployment. This has allowed me to watch every game. Every single match. The entire competition. I am faced now with the reality of having a job, of having responsibilities, of having obligations to which I have committed myself months in advance. Some part of me can't help but wonder if what I am feeling is a sense of "sour grapes" - this is going to be a boring World Cup because I can't dedicate a third of my summer to it.

Certainly there is much to hate about these kinds of events, this World Cup in particular. Brazil is experiencing even more unrest, following many months of protest and aggravation, which, while about many issues, are inextricably linked to the World Cup. John Oliver's take on this has been circulating the social media world in recent days, and he does a wonderful job of summarizing the many things to hate about 2014:

And yet, with only 3 days to go, I can't help but feel I will start to become very eager for the cup. One of my earliest sports-related memories is watching the 1990 world cup final with my dad. In fact, I have watched every world cup since 1990, including a number of finals with my dad. I have watched the US National Team get steadily better with friends. I have gathered with complete strangers to share joy at games that were completely inconsequential. It is the very nature of these shared moments that play such a big part in why my level of enthusiasm is normally so great. Will I, come the end of this week, finally feel like my normal self?